Kalkan and the electric bike

I'd love to be back in Kalkan, but as my credit card bill is as long as Gatwick airport runway I need a plan to help me get there.  I have given it plenty of thought and believe that I could have an answer to end my money woes and take me and my idea to my favourite Turkish place.

So, for the moment, please consider yourself a critical friend - a gentler version of Alan Sugar if you like - as I present my plans for - The Kalkan Electric Bike.

cycling downhill is fun.  Going up is err more challenging.  So get an electric bike!

Kalkan nestles between the Taurus mountains and the Mediterranean sea in Southern Turkey - a beautiful location, but clearly one that involves very steep hills.  I've researched this and discovered that in general the downhill sections are brilliant.  People smile and chat as they walk through the little streets of the Bazaar, stopping to buy an ice cream or an Efes - generally ambling happily around. 

But what goes down must come up again (hmm something like that anyway...) and this, according to my research, is where the problem lies.  A steep hill in the heat, after the aforementioned Efes is an exhausting process. This is where my brilliant idea comes in; electric bikes stationed all around Kalkan.

Shamelessly borrowing Boris's ideas I would have half a dozen bike parks, where the bikes could be charged up.  Imagine it.  You wouldn't need the motor on the way down hills - just freewheel your way down to the harbour, park your bike, wander around a little choosing a boat trip for the following day - maybe eat and drink your fill - and then when you're ready you can leap back on your bike without that feeling of impending cardiac overload, start the motor and be gently carried back to your starting point. 

Kalkan harbour - at the bottom of a hill, strangely

And electric bikes, unlike motor bikes, do give you the option of keeping fit.  You don't have to use the motor all the time.  A good pedal could help shift the pounds that the Doy Doy dinner threatened to add to your stomach.  Or not - your choice. 

So this is my plan A.  I have a plan B forming and indeed a plan C in the wings.  Just as a more secure backup though, I'm off to buy a lottery ticket now...





 

PH and the Mystery of the Missing Equilibrium - The mystery deepens, a bit

Karen was training hard for her next weather forecast.  Although it was a sunny day in Kalkan, again, she had heard rumours that some of the PH crew were so worried about the chance of snow they were off their food a little.  Natalie's leg warmers were spotted  with her zumba workout gear (strangely still unused) and Mrs C had noticed Gayle threading her mittens on a string through her warm winter coat, although she laughed it off saying she was only doing it to pass the time between snorkelling sessions.  Karen had to save the day.  She had to win everyone over and exude confidence, no matter how many niggling little doubts she might have about the continuing sunny spell in southern Turkey.  

No expense had been spared in furnishing Karen with the necessary equipment.  

An outstandingly large fridge had been wheeled into their headquarters and a huge map of Turkey attached to it with magnetized gold tokens!  Karen had insisted, rightly of course, that only bottles containing the finest wine were accurate when pointing out areas of high pressure on the map, so she had been busily emptying them into large glasses (health and safety - no lifting heavy weights) and sharing these with her comrades. 

dangerous way to lift a bottle.  Don't try it at home.

One glass for Carolyn, one glass for Mrs C, one glass for Gayle, one glass for mrs C... you probably get the picture.

At last the time came for Karen's ultimate performance.  It was 6 O'clock, Kalkan time.  The sun was starting to descend over the bay and all the PH crew gathered round the fridge expectantly.  Lyn nervously chewed her snorkel mouthpiece whilst Louise removed her flip flops - they were slightly different colours, one being pink and the other not.  The men in black were guarding all the exits.  All was quiet.  Karen was about to begin.

"Stop!!" roared a voice.  The crowd erupted unable to stand the tension a moment longer.  Emma shrieked, Kate fainted and Rachel adopted the 'Swan in Flight' yoga pose that she used in stressful situations. Then in ran Jill and Sally. They were holding a single flip flop between them.  

"We've found a clue!" they cried in unison.  "It's the MP's flip flop.  Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah - now we may be able to find the missing equilibrium". - (In case you'd forgotten or have lost the will to try and remember, it was the missing equilibrium data, lost on a flash pen somewhere in the bay of Kalkan that had brought the PH crew here).

Well, you could almost hear the cheers from Brighton.  Certainly, the good folk of Kalkan smiled to each other knowing someone was happy in their pretty little town.  The bar owners stuck champagne on ice and the cocktail bars hastily created an inspired Belles of Brighton cocktail.  But was this all a little premature.  After all, it was just a flip flop.  The mood darkened a little as realisation grew that this wasn't yet the end of the affair.

But then Louise suddenly stood up and the crowd hushed.

"Oh Friends,  my dear, dear friends I think the time has come for me to let you in on a few secrets."  Omg thought half the people there, what is she going to tell them.  Please don't let it be about that party...

Louise held up her flip flops.  The one that wasn't pink matched the one that Jill and Sally still clutched.

"You really are the bravest, cleverest most wonderful people you know.  I have spent over 15 years with you so I understand this.  Yes.  15 years undercover - on her Majesty's Secret Service.  I always knew that one day you lot would be there to help me save the world - and so you are."  The PH crew looked surprised - but hey, they were used to surprises and this plot seemed nothing like as complicated as the Dr Who or Spooks ones.

"So hang on, you know my cousin then" said Kate.  Louise nodded wisely. Shaken and stirred in equal measure Kate was silent.

"These flip flops are coded".  Louise pointed to the markings on the bottom.  "Now we have the pair I can quickly calculate the exact position of the Missing Equilibrium."  Everyone stared ( a bit rude really) as Louise mumbled something about x = Y(g-4t)/absolute zero.  What a maths genius!"

She looked around with a natural air of authority.  "There is no time to lose.  Grab your snorkels and get down to the harbour.  If I'm right we have just 2 hours and 23 minutes to find this flash pen and still be back in time for dinner."

Like bats out of  hell  they ran- indeed John linked that up to the town's loudspeakers to aid the crew as they ran down through the town to the harbour.  A laughing, cheering crowd (well, laughing anyway) helped them on their way and very soon they had boarded the good ship Dilara and were on their way to X marks the spot.

Louise, who had quickly changed into her black lycra regulation SS diving gear, had taken command of the boat and given orders to the crew -  in Turkish of course - it turned out she spoke 17 languages fluently. 

Ahead lay the still blue darkening waters of the Mediterranean sea.  Somewhere down there was the treasure they sought.  

Would they find it in time to get back for dinner at Doy Doy? 

Find out in the next episode,

The end of the beginning or the beginning of the end

As the sun set over the darkening blue sea the sky turned pink through to deep purple. It was still very warm, although the extreme heat of the day had faded, and the bars were crowded with people enjoying the moment.

I drank my vodka - the bar having run out of gin!!!! (What a hardship - but I put up with it) It's a problem in these far flung places. Replenishing the stock can't happen instantly when you're 100 miles from the nearest supplier - over the mountains and far away...
Except I wasn't in Kalkan or any other far flung place. I was in Brighton, UK, on the beach on 28th September 2011. Yes, summer had come to Sussex! It was nearing the end of a beautiful day, with the promise of more warmth and sun to come.

I don't like seeing summer end. I know autumn has it's own good points and it's a new beginning in itself. But sun out means higher spirits to me and I know I will miss it.

Another thing that may be ending is this blog.

What! I here you cry (well, maybe it was the cat). I think I have nearly reached the end of the road with blogger as google have removed my adverts for their own good reasons. So I am setting up a new blog elsewhere! So this is the end of the beginning (so sorry about the contrived title).
But I will finish my PH and the mystery of the missing equilibrium either on here or on my new blog (not set up yet). The links will be on Facebook still. So there is definitely something to look forward to this autumn....isn't there?

Breakfast in Turkey

We had said we would eat in a lot of the time when we went to Kalkan. We also said we'd take a leisurely stroll into town in the evenings when we wanted to go out. But... that never happened!
Every day Suleyman would arrive in his taxi to pick us up from our holiday home at Meltem apartments in Kalamar bay and take us to the top of the old town in Kalkan - usually just as the light was fading and the air starting to cool a little. He's a great guy. Friendly and helpful in just the right measure and Dave's 'best friend' for the holiday.

"Had we been up into the mountains?" he asked one day. Well, no we hadn't. The heat, the lure of the sea, the pool and Kalkan had kept us content. Suleyman wasn't having this though.
"Tomorrow, I pick you up in the morning and you come to my house - up the mountain - and have Turkish breafast with my family. Ok?" How could we refuse - and why would we want to?

So it was that one beautiful, clear Sunday morning we set off with Suleyman up through the higher reaches of Kalkan, past the hotels and villas, past the banks and the bus station until we had left it all behind and were winding up the narrowing roads to Suleyman's mountainside home.
When he was a boy, he told us, he had travelled this route with donkey and cart. Kalkan had been a village with farming and fishing being the main lifestyle. Now, many of the Kalkanerrs live up above the town where it is cooler and quieter. They work flat out all summer and then have time in the winter to continue building and improving their homes, whilst maybe engaged in a little olive pressing or the like.

Suleyman's family were all smiles, waiting to greet us as we pulled in at his large home, just perched on the edge of the mountain. His little girl, though clearly delighted to have her daddy back, was trying to drag him back to his taxi.
"I've promised we'll go to the beach today", Suleyman explained. Time off work, to spend with family is very limited and precious in the summer.
Suleyman showed us to the veranda that ran the whole width of the house, where we were to eat our Turkish breakfast.
There are views and views, but these ones were stunning. A panorama of turquoise blue Kalkan bay, framed by Olive trees, grape vines and bougainvillea. How amazing to wake up to this each morning...
But back to breakfast! Suleyman's wife and older daughter had spread the table with a real feast. There were plates of cheese, eggs, olives and tomatoes, watermelon and honey, jam and bread: not straight from the supermarket, like my traditional English though - all the jams and honey were home made and the olives had been picked from the family's own olive groves.
To drink we had cay, Turkish tea. Two stacked kettles are used to make this. One contains the strong brewed tea and the other has boiling water to dilute it to taste. That's the important bit - drinking it at the strength you enjoy.
The breakfast was utterly delicious and the hospitality shown by Suleyman's family was fantastic.

With Suleyman's young daughter proudly counting up to ten in English we headed back to Kalkan in our friend's taxi. Already our holiday seems like a much too distant dream, but with memories like this one, I know we'll be back. We can't stay away from our friends too long!

PH and the Mystery of the Missing Equilibrium - Survivors...

It was time for a reconnaisance mission - under the guise of a  jeep sightseeing day trip around Kalkan, Turkey. On the journey Glenys and Lyn had been trying very, very hard to teach everyone a few essential Turkish phrases - just so that no-one would suspect they were foreigners. Skilled in the art of recognising where their students's interests lay they used the modern, conversational approach to their tuition.

"En yakın bar nerede?" said Glenys in a slow, calm tone. The driver of their minibus screeched to a halt in the middle of the road and then reversed down the middle of the road until with a swift 270 turn he pointed the vehicle at a roadside shack and then hurled it across the road before the advancing giant articulated petrol tank had a chance to collide with them. It was an effective learning tool, one that may, or may not be suitable for the PH tool kit. There may be those for whom the phrase meaning 'Where is the nearest bar?' will be resonating every night time as they try and drop off to sleep... but there again, maybe not.

Strangely, even though no one had seemed thirsty before -it was only mid morning - all the PH crew seemed ready to down the cocktail that was quickly whipped up for them when they slithered out of their jeep. Renamed in honour of the occasion, I proudly present - 'The Survivor'.



The Survivor Cocktail

Survivor ingredients:
to be served in a tall glass with plenty of ice.

I dollop of Light Rum (1.5 oz. / 4.5 cl)

Small dollop of Creme de Cacao (White) (0.25 oz. / 8 ml)

Good swig of Pineapple Juice (1 oz. / 3.0 cl)

A small swig of Lime Juice (0.25 oz. / 8 ml)

The barman asked Emma for help in finding the glasses and then proceeded to mix The Survivor.  

Here are the instructions.
Fill a shaker half full with ice cubes. Pour all ingredients into shaker and shake well. Fill a tumbler almost full of ice cubes, and strain drink into tumbler.


But this wasn't enough for Kate and Emily. They wanted more, more, more!  The adventure was only just beginning.

So the barman, skilled in the art of chatting up tourists told them about an amazing trip he'd made to South America - surviving untold hardships after capsizing and being held to ransom half way down the Amazon. He managed to escape and made his way, alone, to Peru.

This, apparenly was his ticket to freedom: the drink that sent his captors to sleep.  The Sol Survivor.

The Sol Survivor  is made from gin, watermelon, cucumber, lime, agave, and  a touch of mint and is as perfect in Kalkan as it is in Peru! 

We must leave the PH crew now to finish their reconoitering as well as the drinks they have lined up for themselves on the table.  Speak softly for they will awaken with a headache...

Cool in Kalkan

The Perfect Job

T

Wanted

Look out Person in Kalkan

Must have experience of 

star-gazing

beach-lazing

sea-loving

food-guzzling 

efes-drinking

cocktail sinking

people-liking

uphill-hiking

Kalkan

Follow me  at the bottom of the page if you're interested in this vacancy.

( I said follow - don't even thinki of trying to push in in front of me....)

Guarding the Satellite Reciever Mast in Kalamar bay, Kalkan, Turkey

Mrs C's commitment was awesome.