Sunday 11 September 2011

How to win at Greyhound racing: The Turkish method

So you want to be a winner too?  You fancy the fast cars, built in jacuzzi and luxury live-in holidays that I am now on the way to possessing?  Well, dear reader, you are in luck.  You have come to the right place without a doubt.  I am going to tell You how to win your fortune at the dog racing track.    But first you have to read all the way through this drivel awesome account of my epiphany at Hove Greyhound track in order to get to that one incy-wincy bit of information that will transform your life... the golden nugget of everlasting fortune.

Awesome and amazing are words I hear a lot of these days.  True there are other words I have recently encountered that have a less positive ring to them.  But they general start with letters later on in the alphabet like b or c or even f.  So let's stick to A. 



On the morning of my dog racing epiphany I was  dejected.  There was rain, gloominess and a complete absence of money to start with.  Then, piled on top of that little heap of miseries, were the loomings: bills, work, more bills, more work, even bigger bills... you get the picture I'm sure my friend.

But then in a moment of serendipity I came across a quote by a real 'A' list lady - Audrey Hepburn. 
"Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!"
Well, there was I sitting looking at computer, gazing at a photo of 'that view' in Kalkan and feeling despondent about the chances of seeing it for real for a long time, when up popped this little quote.  And what a good little quote it is.  Instant sunshine followed and we celebrated by adopting Debussey Bonjour and Amadeus Redfinger from the local garden centre. 
(Debussey is still a little shy, but Amadeus, who is a bit more outogoing was pleased to have his picture taken.  There will be more from Amadeus later).  
The day progressed pleasantly and Turkey time seemed a little more possible with glimmers of ideas starting to bear a little fruit.
And so to the evening and off to Hove Greyhound Track where lovely Louise was celebrating her and Tricky's birthdays.  He was 40, she 32. (Sorry,  sometimes it's best to be factual, however inaccurate you may be.)  Out on the track the dogs proudly presented themselves to the crowd, often presenting them with a final pile of poop before rushing off after the hare.  Expectations were high and the betting was brisk.  Inside, all was mirth and merriment.  Sausages and sandwiches laughed with joy before being consumed whilst Emma eyed up the ice buckets -the bowls having been carefully locked away before she arrived.
I bet on the favourites - with lamentable results.  Nil, zilch, absolutely nothing at all in return.  But was I downhearted?  No!  I was too busy watching Elvis gyrating his way through 'Suspicious Minds'.  
However, I am now approaching the moment of my epiphany.  In just a few lines you will know how I beat the odds and what you too can do to win at the dogs.
Well, I wanted to win.  Dave was winning and it didn't seem fair.  So I threw caution to the wind and invented The Turkish method.  Go for the beautiful, the lovely and enjoy.  So I went for Droopys Audrey and Doydoys dream. (Actually it was Doidys dream but I didn't have my glasses on!)  Audrey Hepburn and Doy Doy.  An inspirational actress and my favourite restaurant in Turkey.    And they won.  Yeah!  
 
 
 
So there you have it reader.  Go for it it you like the look of it.  That is my method!  Hope it works for you...
 

1 comment:

  1. May the clicks be many so that you can buy a ticket to Turkey!

    ReplyDelete